Screw You, Rich People

YAY OBAMA'S TAXING THE RICH!

I am so pleased with this. Finally all those ascot-wearing, monocle-polishing dickbags will have to pay their share. Tax them! Tax them up good! I love it! Already the whining has started in the New York Times--you know, "$250,000 sounds like a lot to mouth-breathers in the Midwest but here in NEW YORK and I hear also in CALIFORNIA (the New York of the West) it's really not very much money at all and rich people are just like you poor people because they also bought houses they couldn't afford and used their credit cards too much and it's not faaaaaaaiiiiiir."

SHUT UP SHUT UP! Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year is a hell of a lot of money. If you can't live on that you are an idiot and give it to me please. Okay, I grant that it's not enough money if you have major medical bills, since our horrible health insurance situation is capable of bankrupting the richiest rich. But wait, no, I take that back; if you make $250,000 a year you can afford good health insurance that actually pays for things, unlike my health insurance which takes $160 a month out of my paycheck and then makes me pay for my own annual Pap smear.

But I digress. I barely make fifty thousand dollars a year and I live quite comfortably. Granted, I live in Reno, but I could make it in the New York of the West too. I bet I could even live in the New York of the East*--I did it once, as an unpaid intern. I lived in a house for wayward women on the Upper West Side and I survived on rice and beans and bagels left over from Late Night writers' meetings. On my current salary, I bet I could afford to rent a studio in Queens and even go out to eat once a week. And you know what, New York Times? PEOPLE DO THAT EVERY DAY.

So all you two hundred and fifty thousandaires can go ahead and suck it. In these tough economic times.

*I should make it clear that I never want to live in Manhattan again. The buildings are too tall and it's too cold and the smell of roasting chestnuts makes me want to puke.