I knew things were bad economically, but I didn't realize just how bad until I found out one of my favorite celebrities is so hard up he had to sell one of his castles. One of his CASTLES, people. That's right, Nicolas Cage is no longer the owner of Schloss Neidstein. He had to sell this Bavarian castle, in which he presumably was fond of donning his Con Air wig and twirling around yelling NICOLAS CAAAAAAAAGE in the echoey great hall before sitting down to a delicious pretzel-based meal, because of these tough economic times.
Like the canary in the coal mine, Nicolas Cage is an early harbinger of the doom-times to come for all celebrities. Your superfluous residential properties are not safe, o denizens of dreamland! Not yours, Jodie Sweetin from Full House. Or yours, Ruben Studdard from American Idol. Or even yours, Nicolas Cage, former king of Schloss Neidstein. Your Majesty.
You probably think now I'm going to rant about how ridiculous it is that in this economic day and age, Nicolas Cage owned castles (he still owns at least one, in England). But you're wrong. I can't find fault with Nicolas Cage. He's Nicolas Cage. Yelly, sweaty, weird Nicolas Cage. He named his baby after Superman. He was in The Rock. Did you click on that link up above, for god's sake? He's NICOLAS CAAAAAAGE! Of course he has castles!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Paycheck, Schmaycheck--I Used to Work in FINANCE!
Today's entry in the economic dick parade is a fellow who was laid off from a private equity firm in December. I don't know what a private equity firm is, because, as I've amply demonstrated, I don't know jackity crap about money stuff. Is it where you go to purchase pork-bellies? And perhaps to engage in the selling of same? Anyway, this guy Trent Calabretta apparently made far more money as a private equitist than any 26-year-old should make, because he has enough savings to keep his Upper East Side apartment and not have to look for a job right away. He's been whiling away the hours as a TV extra, for which he gets paid $8 an hour.
Doesn't sound so bad, right? Making money in show biz, checking out Angelina Jolie, presumably resting and regrouping for an assault on the job fairs of the greater northeast. I was okay with this story until Trent had to go and douche it up:
"I’ve gotten a few paychecks as an extra, but I haven’t even looked at them yet,” Mr. Calabretta said. “My intention is to get back into finance, and in the interim, I’m going to keep doing these fun little side jobs.”
Okay, I can't believe I'm standing up for people who play pretend for a living, but fuck this guy for taking jobs away from actual extras. Yes, if being an extra is your primary source of income you might have some large problems, and yes, maybe it's time to go back to school like your mom said. And yes, it is entirely possible you are an insufferable person. But still, I bet you appreciate and use the money you earn being an extra. Not Trent! He's too good for his paychecks! They're not made of real money--he's just doing a "fun little side job"!
Can you imagine receiving a paycheck, no matter how small, and not cashing it? What kind of private equity hubris makes you that big of an arrogant asshole? "What's this envelope? Oh, it's from Gossip Girl--it must be a paycheck from my last 12-hour extra gig. I think instead of opening this, I'll toss it onto the silver ashtray in my foyer and use it to light a cigar later. Or maybe I'll just jam it up my ass. That is how little regard I have for the legal tender contained therein."
You know what minimum wage is in New York? $7.15. I wonder how many thousands of people are trying to make ends meet with their "fun little side jobs" as fast food workers and janitors. Aren't they cute? Who's a little cutie? Who's a precious little janitor making less than a nonunion TV extra? YOU ARE!
And I know it's actually really hard to get into the actors' union, but jeez, at least pretend like you're trying, dude. No one likes a scab.
Doesn't sound so bad, right? Making money in show biz, checking out Angelina Jolie, presumably resting and regrouping for an assault on the job fairs of the greater northeast. I was okay with this story until Trent had to go and douche it up:
"I’ve gotten a few paychecks as an extra, but I haven’t even looked at them yet,” Mr. Calabretta said. “My intention is to get back into finance, and in the interim, I’m going to keep doing these fun little side jobs.”
Okay, I can't believe I'm standing up for people who play pretend for a living, but fuck this guy for taking jobs away from actual extras. Yes, if being an extra is your primary source of income you might have some large problems, and yes, maybe it's time to go back to school like your mom said. And yes, it is entirely possible you are an insufferable person. But still, I bet you appreciate and use the money you earn being an extra. Not Trent! He's too good for his paychecks! They're not made of real money--he's just doing a "fun little side job"!
Can you imagine receiving a paycheck, no matter how small, and not cashing it? What kind of private equity hubris makes you that big of an arrogant asshole? "What's this envelope? Oh, it's from Gossip Girl--it must be a paycheck from my last 12-hour extra gig. I think instead of opening this, I'll toss it onto the silver ashtray in my foyer and use it to light a cigar later. Or maybe I'll just jam it up my ass. That is how little regard I have for the legal tender contained therein."
You know what minimum wage is in New York? $7.15. I wonder how many thousands of people are trying to make ends meet with their "fun little side jobs" as fast food workers and janitors. Aren't they cute? Who's a little cutie? Who's a precious little janitor making less than a nonunion TV extra? YOU ARE!
And I know it's actually really hard to get into the actors' union, but jeez, at least pretend like you're trying, dude. No one likes a scab.
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