The Con-Airy in the Coal Mine

I knew things were bad economically, but I didn't realize just how bad until I found out one of my favorite celebrities is so hard up he had to sell one of his castles. One of his CASTLES, people. That's right, Nicolas Cage is no longer the owner of Schloss Neidstein. He had to sell this Bavarian castle, in which he presumably was fond of donning his Con Air wig and twirling around yelling NICOLAS CAAAAAAAAGE in the echoey great hall before sitting down to a delicious pretzel-based meal, because of these tough economic times.

Like the canary in the coal mine, Nicolas Cage is an early harbinger of the doom-times to come for all celebrities. Your superfluous residential properties are not safe, o denizens of dreamland! Not yours, Jodie Sweetin from Full House. Or yours, Ruben Studdard from American Idol. Or even yours, Nicolas Cage, former king of Schloss Neidstein. Your Majesty.

You probably think now I'm going to rant about how ridiculous it is that in this economic day and age, Nicolas Cage owned castles (he still owns at least one, in England). But you're wrong. I can't find fault with Nicolas Cage. He's Nicolas Cage. Yelly, sweaty, weird Nicolas Cage. He named his baby after Superman. He was in The Rock. Did you click on that link up above, for god's sake? He's NICOLAS CAAAAAAGE! Of course he has castles!