"Humbled" Banker is a Dick

Today's headline story on CNN was called "Humbled Banker Parts With Yuppie Past". I thought I was about to read a heartwarming story about a rich banker who lost his job and after being forced to leave his lifestyle behind got some kind of "I learned the true meaning of Christmas!" realization and changed who he was as a person and decided material things and money aren't important. Nope. The story is about some dipshit guy Ernie Casillas, who was making a ton of money a year then lost his job and then in a "desperate move" put an ad on CRAIGSLIST asking for someone to give him a job. And now he's getting job offers. Great story CNN. Just listen to this dick:

"It took a lot for me to put that ad on Craigslist, because I had to change what I was before," he said, breaking down in tears. "I wasn't this rich little yuppie anymore, driving expensive cars, having expensive suits. I'm in this just like everybody else looking for work. It humbles you. This is real."

Wait you're crying? CRYING? Sorry I can't think of better words for this but: You are a fucking pussy. CNN goes on to point out this heartbreaking fact about him:

"he has been out of work for the past four months and now lives with his mother in suburban Los Angeles."

Awwww. Mommy's little banker lost his job and had to run home to curl up in her lap and cry. FUCK. YOU. Guess what? I'm probably going to be laid off soon. You know what I'm going to do when that happens? Go out and get drunk, then the next day I'm going to wake up, file for unemployment, and start working whatever temp jobs I can find so I can pay my rent. No crying. No moving in with my mom, just acting like a goddamn MAN about it. Oh and this is the ad he swallowed his pride to post on Craigslist:

"I have over 20 years of experience in sales, telephone sales in a call center, customer service, administrative assistant, cash handling, teller, and many more skills and abilities. Great personality, very friendly, hard worker, very responsible," it said. "I will be happy to e-mail you my resume. I need a job now. Please call my cell phone."

That's it? Oh boo hoo you had to use CRAIGSLIST, the thing us normal people use all the time to look for work, apartments, and cheap appliances (I just got a giant portable dishwasher on there for $50! Best money I've spent all year!). Here's more from the article to make you pull your hair out:

Casillas said he teared up when he first began typing the message -- that his life had come unraveled so hard and so fast. But ultimately, he said, he decided, "I'm just going to put it out there. I'm not going to be embarrassed. I'm just going to tell the whole world: I'm unemployed, and I need a job today. And the response was great. My phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing with people interested in my ability to think outside the box," he said, adding that he now has three good leads on potential jobs.

So you cry when you have to put an ad on Craigslist, then you cry to the reporter when you had to recall this embarrassing moment in your life? Sorry taking that job as a yuppie banker meant losing your balls. Also, putting an ad on Craigslist isn't thinking outside the box. You are a box. And since you started getting job offers right away this really isn't much of a story. Actually, screw it, when I get laid off this is the post I'm putting on Craigslist:

"Hi! I just got laid off! I'm not one of these rich people who got paid tons of money to do a job where they dicked around all day then got laid off and now act like they're swallowing their pride by looking for a lesser job and when they get one they're going to whine about it and talk about what they USED TO DO. I'm used to working 40 hours a week for minimal pay and even though I'll probably hate whatever job you give me I'll work my ass off at it because I'm cursed with genes which make me work too hard at crappy jobs and feel bad if I leave at the end of the day without finishing what needs to be done. P.S.: no fatties."